Esta Vez

They say a nail takes another nail out --or, in other words, that you need a "new" someone to take the place of an "old" someone in order for you to feel the less pain possible, or something like that. Personally, I don't believe in that. Yes, it does help, of course, but it's not really a solution, it's more like a placebo which helps for a while, but the sickness is still there and it's still going to kill you.

The right way of doing it is moving on by yourself. There's no need really for a placebo. That's just cheating yourself. The natural, healthy way of dealing with a rupture is living it --as a matter of fact, the only righteous way of living your life is by doing precisely that: living it. A rupture is part of life, isn't it? So one ought to live it, fully. The thing to do is accept that you're alone. It's a fact, you are alone, cope with it. 

So that's it, this time I'll do the right thing. This time I'll stay alone, I'll live my loneliness, even if that means years of such a status quo. Of course I can't deny I'll feel terribly sad for a while, I do, I feel incredibly sad. I can't deny either that I'll feel anguish and will want to talk to her and try and make her see her mistake, that too I'll be tempted to do. Each single day, every minute, I'll feel like calling her and begging her to take me back. And that's perfectly healthy too. I can't deny those feelings, nor ignore them. I shall cry, I shall scream, I shall write, then I shal cry some more... But sooner or later, that's going to go. The pain will slowly diminish and let behind a horde of beautiful memories.

I can't say I'm glad I let you go. I can only say that this time I'll do it right. And, although I hope with all my heart for you to come back to me, I'll do my best for it to be too late for you.

I love you, I love you like I've never loved anybody else.